When I was little and hurt myself, sometimes I would cry. If no one came running, I remember crying harder, louder and longer until one of my parents would come to comfort me even if I wasn’t feeling pain anymore. It was one of the first times I played the role of the victim. It is a role that can sneak into our behavior every time we are confronted with a decision or have an interaction, most of the time we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Knowing how to recognize the victim mindset can help you to keep it in check for yourself, or steer clear if observed in others.
Every time you put yourself or someone else down, blame someone, look to someone else to make you happy, act entitled, give in to hopelessness, seek attention without giving attention back-these things are all evidence of a victim mindset. They are all behaviors that in a way, let you off the hook for having to do anything to change. It’s not my fault I’m unsuccessful, my father never invested in my endeavors. I’m not happy because my wife doesn’t understand me. The government is so corrupt, there’s nothing anyone can do to change it. I’m no good, I shouldn’t even apply.
Why do people play the victim?
Change requires performance, and performance requires effort with the potential for failure. Some retreat into victim status to avoid change and having to perform to a certain standard. When…
