Loving ourselves exactly as we are comes so naturally to small children. Self-love is in our nature.

You’re Perfect. And You’re Evolving.

Last night I found myself sobbing. I was reading the first chapters of the book Wonder to see if it would be a good fit to teach my homeschooled third grader, and it wasn’t the bullying of the protagonist, a boy with a facial deformity, that triggered me, but the struggle of the mother to make the best choices for her child. The words tore the thin scab over what apparently is an insecurity about whether I have done enough to support my kids through this pandemic, and then the sobbing turned into those awkward sob-laughs because I realized the irony that this all happened while I was reading a children’s reader on behalf of my kid for my evening activity. My husband was glancing at me over his computer with his one-eye brow raised confusion.

It wasn’t until this insecurity bubbled up to the surface that I was able to reflect on how hard I’ve been on myself with this issue and the amount of negative internal dialogue that’s been building up that led to that moment and it got me thinking. Why is it that we think this self-inflicted abuse is necessary to motivate us to get things done? Why do we withhold love from ourselves because we think it propels us to improve? Why must we think that accepting the reality that everything is perfect as it is, including ourselves, prevents growth?